Living in the Scoot Utopia

It's official, I'm a sellout. After resisting peer pressure for months I finally gave in this weekend and set up a myspace account. Mostly I'll be using it as a portal to here but I'm now officially conforming.

Anyway, here it is... http://www.myspace.com/scooterjmurdock

Posted by ScooterJ at 09:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Inspired by a post by Ken, here's a list of various superstitions/rituals/compulsive behaviors that I have.

• While walking, if either thumb accidently touches any any of my knuckles, I must then have it touch all of the other knuckles with the same pressure while simultaneously doing the same with the opposite hand. Once I finish the last finger I then reverse the process. The same thing also happens if a thumb touches any fingertip.

• If I am about to run a dishwasher that someone else loaded, I will unload it and reload it my way: No dishes or cups touching each other, everything facing the same direction, all silverware pointing down, spoons spread out in nearly-equal numbers among all silverware compartments with a knife or fork inserted between every pair of spoons.

• Unless it's my own kitchen, I always use the second plate from the top when selecting a plate from the cupboard.

• I cannot go to sleep without a cup of water next to my bed, even if I am not thirsty and even though I rarely actually take a drink from it.

• I prefer to drink water from plastic cups. I do not like to drink water from a glass. However I do not like to drink anything carbonated from plastic.

• If I step on a crack while walking, I must immediately find another similar crack for the opposite foot to step on.

• If I begin walking using my left foot first, I feel "unbalanced" and must make certain that I end the walk with a firm step by my right foot.

• I never set my alarm clock for any time ending with a 0 or a 5. Usually my alarm goes off at a time ending in a 2 or a 7.

• I always go into anything that I am about to do with an expecation that I will fail. I consider it bad luck to have confidence.

• If I am really worried about something, I believe that if I divulge that worry to someone else then it will not happen.

I'm sure I could go on and on, but that's a good start for now. How about you?

Posted by ScooterJ at 05:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Posted by ScooterJ at 04:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This is what happens when a customer walks into Winslow's BBQ wearing a Jack Stack BBQ shirt...

(Don't worry, it was the customer's idea.)

Posted by ScooterJ at 08:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This idea is borrowed from Seth, who in turn borrowed it from Werlew.

Among all the clutter on the left side of my desk: a Fargo snow globe (wood chipper scene), a metal globe dating to around 1927. a bowling pin picture frame given to me by Codding, a Pepsi cup that my company tested a few years ago and the bowling alley hates, and a framed picture of antique golf implements. To the right of my crappy old monitor is my 2002 Kansas City Knights cup (used for water), a latte from Scooter's, my silver coffee cup, and an Incred-a-Bowl cup that I use for adding water to my fish tank. Next to my phone is my set of office binoculars, used anytime I spot something interesting happening outside. (One afternoon earlier this year a falcon was eating a pigeon on that fire escape across from my window. As the falcon ripped a loop of intestine out of its victim a girl in the office cried out "Ewww! That's sick! Give me your binoculars!")

On the floor is my tripod, my bucket of fish supplies, and the box for the putting mat that I have set up just outside my cubicle.

Behind my main desk sits another smaller one:

On this one sits my gym bag, stuffed with gym clothes (soaked with a week of sweat). Next to that is my griddle, which I brought in yesterday for an office breakfast. My nameplate sits in the windowsill, and to the right is my saltwater fish tank.

In a typical week I'll spend 44-48 hours here. Though there are no true walls the dividers block enough sound that I can only hear conversations that are intended to be shared. My desk is in the southeast corner of the building, and the view is both soothing and sometimes a distraction.

Posted by ScooterJ at 08:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Each morning the elevators in the building I work in have a new ad posted in them for one of the several retail businesses scattered throughout the various Commerce Bank buildings. Often these are riddled with typos and weird typesetting. For some reason it never occurred to me until today to post any of them.

Here's a corner of today's ad, for a pizza/pasta joint in the lobby.

1. Why are three different font sizes used?
2. Why are two different fonts used?
3. Why is the first half of the second sentence italicized but not the second half?
4. Why is "We'll" capitalized? It is not the start of a new sentence.


But my biggest question...


5. What's with the quote marks around the word "a"?

In a "hurry"? Call ahead and we'll have it ready for you!
This implies that you should use this service if you are not really in a hurry but want to give the impression you are.

In a hurry? Call ahead and "we'll" have it ready for you!
Implies that someone else will actually get it ready.

In a hurry? Call ahead and we'll have it "ready" for you!
Implies that their definition of "ready" may not be exactly what you have in mind.

In a hurry? Call ahead and we'll have it ready for "you"!
Implies they might give your food to someone else.

In "a" hurry? Call ahead and we'll have it ready for you!
I have NO FREAKING IDEA what this implies. :)

Posted by ScooterJ at 04:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

After 3-1/2 years of being an undocumented alien residing in Missouri, I am now officially and legally a Missouri resident.

For the 3-1/2 years since I moved downtown after fleeing JoCo, I dragged my feet on getting a Missouri driver's license because I didn't want to have to deal with all the hassle. But now I had no choice, as my old Kansas license was about to expire.

Guess what? I walked into the DMV at 1:27 yesterday afternoon. I walked out at 1:36 with a shiny new Missouri driver's license. Less than ten minutes.

All that procrastinating over nothing. :)

Posted by ScooterJ at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

If you are a regular KenThinks.com, you already know that the above is the number one most frequently-requested page-boy errand as selected by KenThinks.com visitors.

But if you didn't know that, hop on over to Ken's Top Tens and join the fun of helping build the daily list! You'll be hooked.

Posted by ScooterJ at 12:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

At the suggestion of Ken I have added a new section to my site that is wrong. So very, wrong.

Because it has such potential to offend, I have spun it off as a separate site so that the only way you will stumble onto it is to visit it on purpose. So if you like things that are wrong, look for it in my "Other Sites" column on the right-hand-side of my main page.

Or click the link below...

Posted by ScooterJ at 11:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

You'll be seeing a whole slew of posts coming up from me today, as I've been too busy the past few days to stay on top of things.

Posted by ScooterJ at 11:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)