Because some things are just too wrong not to share...
I spotted this Chinese food delivery service magnet stuck to a vending machine last night...
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August 03, 2007
July 17, 2007
Do Your Best... Never Quit
Last night Ken dragged me to the Ameristar against my will. Parre went too.
I have a major expense coming up so didn't want to just throw my money away. "I'm only gonna play with $20," I said, "and that's really not enough to last on the Blackjack table, so I'm just gonna play slots."
So before he and Parre hit the tables, Ken set me up on the Triple Diamond machine that he had such good luck on during his last visit.
Mere moments later my twenty was gone.
While this was going on, Parre was sitting at a nearby bank of Double-Tens machines and winning. He cashed in his winnings and took them to the blackjack table. I followed them over and watched their first couple of hands. "I'm gonna go wander around a bit," I said.
I returned to the Double-Tens cluster and sat down at the machine to the left of the one that Parre had done well yet. I stuck in another twenty. Now this machine was somewhat defective, the "max spin" button was not working so I had to hit "bet one" 5 times before each spin. It was tedious, but before long my twenty had grown to $62. I was now officially up $22 for the night. I took my cash-out ticket and put it in my shirt pocket.
I went over to see how the fellas were doing, then did another lap around the casino. I ended up once again orbiting the Double-Tens cluster, this time landing at the machine two to the right of where Parre had played.
Rather than stick my ticket in, because I feared I'd get hooked and lose it all, I stuck my last $20 bill into the machine instead. Pretty quickly I had doubled it to $40 but stupidly did not cash out. I kept going, hitting "max bet", "max bet", over and over and watching the total keep dwindling down. I'd win small payouts, just enough to keep me in, but that was it. I wanted to cut my losses and walk away, but I figured that with that $62 ticket in my pocket I was technically playing with the house's money so might as well stick it out. $5.00..... $3.75... $2.50... and there it was, $1.25... just enough credits for one last "max bet" spin.
I hit something that gave me a payout and the machine started beeping.
And beeping.
And beeping.
It took me nearly a minute to realize what had happened...
10 x 10 x 10 = 1,000 ....... or $250. My best slot machine payout ever!
With that I officially considered myself done and after showing off to my buddies and getting a high-five from a pit boss I cashed my tickets in.
After subtracting my $60 investment I ended up leaving up $252 for the night, and Parre followed close behind at a little over $200. Ken? He lost a hundred. I feel a little badly for him, but not too much so considering the NUMEROUS times I've seen him win hundreds to thousands while I lost my ass and sat around broke and bored. :)
So, yeah... thanks, Ken, for pressuring me into doing something I didn't want to do!
June 30, 2007
Mid-Year Checkup
When the year began I set a few goals for 2007. Now that the year is half over, let's see how I'm doing...
- To break the elusive 30-mile barrier with a long walk somewhere in the metro area.
Done. On April 15 I walked 37.5 miles from Liberty to Olathe. And I'm just hours away from embarking on an attempt to break 40.
- To weigh 20 pounds less on December 31 than I do on January 1.
I've lost four, so I have a lot of work to do to meet this goal.
- To have an HbA1c blood test result of 5.9, which would essentially be diabetes-free.
Done. I've had two of these tests so far this year and both have been 5.9 or below!
- To visit 50 new bars while still achieving the above two goals. ;)
Done, provided I lose 16 more pounds. :) This goal proved easier than I expected... I hadn't counted on getting to do any major barhopping trips this year and instead have done several. So far I've been to 121 new bars in 2007. :)
- To throughly clean my place sometime this spring, and clean out my damn closet.
Oh HELL no.
June 27, 2007
Time For Me To Come Out...
...and embrace my geekiness.
A few days ago Seth dropped a challenge in one of his blog posts for me to post about something geeky I do and celebrate my inner geekdom. I thought about it a bit and here's a few things that I guess would qualify:
- Seth suggested I post about the geekiness of my barhopping. "But what's geeky about that?" I thought. Then I realized that most people don't record where they went, what time it was, what they drank and at what ounce size, write down notes, take a picture, get map coordinates, and the post the reports online. And most people also don't keep a running log of every place they have been, nor have 4-page long Google Map pinpointing the location of ever bar visited.
- I supposed there's some geek factor involved in my walking, since I push myself to greater and greater distances each time, document the walks online, and now even do live webcasts of them.
- I'm pretty geeky about the 1980 movie Flash Gordon. I've seen it hundreds of times and if you give me any line from the movie I can pretty much recite the remainder of the film from that point onward.
- I'm obsessed with maps. I collect them, love to look at them, especially maps of familiar places. I like making my own maps, too.
- Then of course there's this.
So, there you have it, I admit it, I'm geeky.
What does your inner geek obssess about?
May 26, 2007
A Pop Quiz
What is this kid asking the paramedics as he tours the back of an ambulance?
If your answer was "Is this where people die?", you are a winner!
May 15, 2007
How (not) to judge a man's age
I was at Best Buy with Ken over lunch today and he was looking for a new DVD that came out today that was a compilation of uncensored Droopy cartoons.
After failing to find it in "New Releases", "TV", or "Comedy", Ken was about to give up. But on a lark, I checked the "Children's" section and found it there. I thought it was a strange place to put it, considering that Droopy smokes and the cartoons tend to be pretty violent. The following conversation then ensued...
Ken: "You should get a part-time job here finding DVD's."
Me: "I'm actually kinda surprised it was in the Childrens section. I don't think too many kids watch Droopy anymore."
Ken: "Yeah."
Me: "I think most Droopy nuts are more than 30 years old."
Ken started laughing immediately, but it took me a moment and a mental replay to realize what I had just said. :)
May 10, 2007
Found: One Basketball
If you lost a basketball somewhere in Kansas.... or far western Iowa... or Nebraska... or eastern Colorado... or South Dakota... or North Dakota... or Wyoming... or Montana... or extreme southern Saskatchewan... or extreme southern Alberta, you can pick it up in St. Louis if you hurry. Or Memphis.... or New Orleans.
Missouri River @ Kansas City
March 30, 2007
Fish Sticks!
Check out this combination fish tank and deep fat fryer:
The hot oil floats on top of the water -- since heat rises the water stays cool enough for the fish to live. Meanwhile the greasy crumbs from deep frying settle into the tank to become fish food.
Click the link below for the full story from SciFi.com's blog, which also contains a cool video demonstration of the apparatus. (I wish I could understand the language the video is in...)
March 19, 2007
More Bad ScooterMath™
I spent most of last week depressed after I came to the realization that I was twice as old as one of my co-workers.
I brooded over this for a few days, even feeling weird out about socializing after hours with someone half my age.
Finally I mentioned something about this, and my co-worker's response startled me. What did he tell me?
(1) That 24 x 2 = 48, not 38 as I had been thinking...
(2) That I am 37, not 38. Whoops!
Hooray! I'm not old after all!
March 17, 2007
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Live it up, get lit, but be safe and smart and walk, take cabs, or take the MAX. (I hear there will be checkpoints galore.)
I'll leave you with a very special St. Patrick's Day message from Mel Brooks.