Living in the Scoot Utopia

After Coretta Scott King died, I noticed from my office window that, as they were supposed to be, the flags were flying at half mast atop City Hall and the Jackson County Courthouse. At the Federal Reserve, however, the flag was still flying high. This continued for a couple of days.

Finally, the Federal Reserve realized their blunder and lowered their flag to half mast -- about an hour after the King funeral had ended.

The next day the official mourning period was over and the flags returned to their full height at City Hall and the Courthouse. But at the Federal Reserve? Nope... they forgot all about it again. It wasn't until today that they remembered to raise it back up.

Posted by ScooterJ at 03:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I live above a business whose voice mail system, for some moronic reason, makes their phones ring in a nonstop cycle the entire time they are closed. It rings all night long, and also all weekend long. Holiday weekends are the worst.

I have been battling it for nearly two years. They don't seem to care and don't seem willing to do anything about it. I was watching "Pulp Fiction" earlier tonight and could hear the ringing over the music and gunfire.

I am losing my mind.

Would it be wrong if at the start of their business day I put a sound effects CD on loop on "ringing phone", put the speakers face-down on the floor, crank the volumee, and leave?

Posted by ScooterJ at 10:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I worked out over lunch and took a shower before returning to my office. I walked back over to my little corner of the locker room and removed my towel to start to get dressed. It was at that moment that it dawned on me that the reason the room was brighter than usual was that someone had opened the blinds of the big window next to me. That window was in full few of the offices of at least three floors of a bank building downtown.

Had the bank not been closed, several dozen employees would certainly have had quite a visual treat! (And I have to concede that there probably were at least a few people in some of those offices.)

Posted by ScooterJ at 03:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

1. Be the 5th-grader who proposed a law banning the sale of cold beer in Missouri.
2. Watch the law get passed.
3. Grow up to drinking age.

Posted by ScooterJ at 01:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I almost never get bothered by panhandlers anymore. I don't know if it's because my size makes me intimidating or what, but I walk everywhere all over the Downtown area at all hours of the day and night and only about once every 4 months do any of the homeless ever try to stop me.

Last night I didn't leave work until 8:00. Before I left I called Minskys and ordered a calzone. They said it would be ready at 8:30, so I took a circuitous route and arrived at Minsky's right on time. But my calzone wasn't ready. It wasn't ready for another 20 minutes.

I stepped out the door with calzone in hand and went around the side of the City Market, heading north towards 3rd. I had made it about to the back side of Discounts Unlimited when I got stopped by a panhandler with one of the most fantastic tales I'd ever heard spun by one of these guys.

According to him, he had walked all the way here from Lubbock, Texas. But along the way, he'd been kidnapped by the Ringling Brothers Circus. They stole all of his money and took his ID away. Then, to add injury to insult, they chopped off all of his toes.

To clarify his plight, he said that the shelters won't take him without an ID. Then he trailed off.

I asked him what exactly he needed and I noticed his eyes drifting continously to my calzone. He said he was looking for "a warm blanket and some..." and then he started smacking his lips and trailed off again.

"I don't carry cash," I said, "so sorry, I can't help." I began walking away. As I did he looked longingly at my calzone.

I didn't make it 20 feet before another homeless guy, this one carrying a cardboard sign tucked under his arm, stopped me. "Don't worry," he said, "I'm not going to give you any story. I'm just really hungry. Can you share whatever you have there?"

Now, since my calzone was cut in two, I thought briefly aboutt giving half to each guy and going back to buy myself a new one.

But, I'd waited fifty minutes for the damn thing, so I told them I was just a delivery guy and it wasn't mine to share.

Posted by ScooterJ at 11:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I saw the following letter in the Kansas City Star today...

It was a nice Saturday morning, and we were looking forward to the American Royal parade. However, due to the excessive number of blocked-off streets for the marathon runners, we almost missed the parade.

We were rerouted at least 20 times as we tried to find a way through the city to the parade route. The children were crying from boredom during the long drive, we lost the second car in our caravan, and everywhere we turned we could see marathon runners, but no signs directing us of their route or how we could get through. It was a complete mess. The city’s planning was horrible.

I understand the weekend schedule is all about money, how to draw in the most day-trippers for additional revenue, but this was not an effective way to do it. I don’t think any day-trippers that experienced the immense traffic jam will want to come back for more.

Kay Scofield
Kansas City

Waaahhh wahhh wahhh. How about taking some personal responsibility and paying attention to the fact that the marathon was announced well in advance via every major media outlet. The route was publicized ahead of time too, and even the time ranges for the most likely block-offs. There were numerous ways to get to the parade without crossing the marathon route. Look at a freaking map and plan your route. Or park somewhere and take one of the many shuttles that were running around town that day. Or take the MAX. Learn your way around your own city, people.

Posted by ScooterJ at 04:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dudley Manlove uttered those words in his role as the alien Eros in "Plan 9 From Outer Space", and truer sentiments have not been expressed in any movie since.

Okay, so maybe not everyone on Earth is a moron. I do know a few rather smart people. But every day, every place I go, I see people doing idiotic things. Soon I'll begin using this site to shame the various idiots I encounter. ("See? See? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!" -- Dudley Manlove, as Eros)

Whenever idiot sightings are down I'll just ramble on about whatever happens to be on my mind or catch my notice that day.

Until then, please enjoy these photos from my last vacation.

Posted by ScooterJ at 11:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)