Living in the Scoot Utopia

Be on the lookut for this asshole.

He was driving north on I-35 near 12th Street at about 12:47pm today when he encountered a backup due to construction. Like most SUV drivers in these situations he waited until the last second to merge and, unable to do so, attempted to instead swerve to the right to exit at 12th Street. He missed the exit, however, and nearly plowed into 3 construction workers who were standing near their truck.

Undaunted, he rolled forward several feet and then sharply turned right, hopping the curb and driving up the grassy hill, finally cutting back onto the 12th Street exit ramp right in front of someone.

Naturally it's Kansas plates and, big shock, they say "JO" on them.

I believe the license plate number is either TKE-062, TKC-062, TFC-062, TKE-012, TKC-012, or TFC-012. This is the best picture I was able to get, if you can discern the plate number through any filters you may have feel free to post it as a comment.

Posted by ScooterJ at 01:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

In case you missed it...

Yesterday in Kansas City some Fox News fanatic flipped out because the wind blew a carboard box into their back yard and they thought it was a bomb.

After police, fire, bomb squad, and news cameras arrived on the scene, the wind tumbled the box again to reveal its emptiness.

Do you think the panic-stricken resident might be a transplant from Boston?

(Source: KC Star, flagged by Tony's Kansas City)

Posted by ScooterJ at 09:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I just spotted the following two-car wreck at 10th & McGee from my office window.

If only there was some clue, some evidence, or just some sort of sign that could tell us how this might have happened:

Oh well, I guess some mysteries may never be solved.

Posted by ScooterJ at 01:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

To the right is the intersection of 39th & Southwest Traficway. North is at top. Southbound traffic is forbidden from turning right onto 39th because about 10 feet west of Southwest Trafficway is the intersection of 39th & Summit. Traffic turning right would immediately be in the middle of another signal-controlled intersection, creating a dangerous situation. Therefore, the ban on right turns is marked both with a large symbolic no right turn sign as well as a secondary no turns sign.

I was on my way to lunch today driving south on Summit, my trajectory indicated by the green arrow, with a green light ahead of me.

So of course some ignoramous with Johnson County plates heading southbound on Southwest Trafficway decided "Oh, I have JO plates, the signs do not apply to me" and followed the illegal trajectory indicated by the red arrow just as I was entering my intersection on my green light.

As I slammed my palm into the horn it was only through a defensive maneuver I didn't know I had in me -- swinging my car around nearly 90 degrees -- that I avoided T-boning (or getting T-boned by) the clueless self-absorbed Johnson County idiot.

Learn to drive or stay over in Kansas with your open-book driving tests. Jeeeez!

When I returned from lunch I also got to spot the following bonus idiocy: some chump in an over-bloated SUV who had parked this morning in a section clearly-signed "Compacts Only" and now, while trying to leave, found themselves completely wedged in and unable to back out.

Posted by ScooterJ at 01:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

The Great Evil One is coming to Kansas City today, just in time to selfishly and completely shut down all traffic in KC right at the afternoon rush hour, in order to waste your taxpayer money campaining for this worthless chump at the private residence of the CEO of Russell Stover Candies.

Posted by ScooterJ at 08:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

With all my work done for the day, I started searching for myself and my creations in Google's new News Archive Search tool. (Give it a try, it's cool!)

In doing so I came across the following article from CNN that pissed me off:

The '80s make, like, an awesome comeback

In particular, it was the first sentence of the 6th paragraph:

Lisa Johnson, manager of The '80s Server, a Web site devoted to the decade, established her site in Overland Park, Kansas, in 1995, when she sensed a movement away from the depressing look and sound of "grunge" music and toward happier, bouncier times -- the '80s.

WRONG!!!

Ken and I established The 80s Server in March of 1995 at UMKC, running it ourselves for two years before selling it to a company in Overland Park. We don't have any idea who this Lisa person is except that she's obviously someone hired after our contract ended in 1997.

Petty, I know, but I hate that someone else got credited by CNN for OUR work.

But now it's six years too late for me to do anything about it.

Posted by ScooterJ at 05:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Last night at Harry's, Ken brought up the story of the time I punched the chicken in public.

It was 2003ish, and Ken and Codding and I had driven to Dallas to watch some basketball tryouts. We were on our way back home, starving, and popped into a Wendy's somewhere north of Dallas.

Ken and Codding were in front of me, placed their orders, and got their food pretty quickly. They went to sit down. I was not so lucky.

The cashier spoke very little English, and my request was a slight challenge but nothing too complicated...

I waited and waited a while other people came through and ordered and got their food. A meal finally appeared that went unclaimed, but it was not mine. After a few minutes of no one claiming it, I asked about the status of my order and they pointed to the order that had been sitting unclaimed.

Somehow, my sandwich request had translated as "hamburger".

I repeated my order and they took the hamburger away, soon returning with the "correction."

Now I had two cheeseburgers.

I explained once again what I had ordered, very slowly and distinctly. They insisted that somehow the two cheeseburgers they had given me fulfilled that request. I re-explained and with puzzled looks they took the two cheeseburgers away.

After a few more minutes they returned with a fully-loaded cheeseburger and a bowl of chili.

Now I was begining to get angry, and I repeated my order yet again. They returned with a plain hamburger.

Trying very hard to keep my cool but boiling over with frustration, I reached into my pocket for a pen, grabbed a napkin, and drew a sketch much like the following to make it crystal clear what I wanted them to do:

The cashier and the manager both studied the note and disappeared around the corner. Minutes later they returned and finally had it right!

Of course by now my fries were cold, my Frosty had melted, and Ken and Codding were done eating and ready to leave.

I sat down and unwrapped my sandwich in eager anticipation. But just as I was about to take a bite, something amiss caught my eye. I spotted a glimmer of orange.

The bastards had put American cheese instead of pepper jack on my sandwich.

A minor oversight, but after what I had been through it pushed me over the edge.

A stunned silence broke across the dining area and Ken and Codding looked on in horror as I made a fist and punched my chicken sandwich repeatedly. I then balled it up, said "let's go", stomed across the room, and threw the balled-up punched chicken at the trash bin.

About half an hour later we stopped at a Whataburger so that I could get something to eat.

To this day I regret my actions at that Wendy's, saddened by the fact that that poor chicken died in vain.

Posted by ScooterJ at 05:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

To the two carloads of drunk idiots who tried to run me off the Paseo Bridge at 1:40am last night because you were racing each other and I was in your way, I hope you wrecked later.

Posted by ScooterJ at 10:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

There is a new resident in my building with the annoying habit of sticking her trash out in the hall until she is ready to take it to the dumpster. The pile shown here has been growing since Wednesday. During that time she has taken her three noisy dogs to the park several times a day, as well as done laundry and gone to work. How hard would it have been for her to carry these bags down with her on any one of those trips?

If you're too lazy to take your trash to the dumpster, at least leave it inside your door so that the rest of us don't have to look at it ot smell it. Sheesh. Might as well leave your poop in the hall whenever your toilet it clogged.

At least it's not as bad as an earlier tenant who used to do the same thing with her catbox when it got too smelly.

Posted by ScooterJ at 04:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Tonight while driving on a 4-lane road the idiot in the left lane decided to make an unsignaled right turn even though I was in the right-hand lane going straight at the time. The dumbass had the gall to blare his horn at me after nearly ramming into me. (And his whole reason for turning from that lane was an attempt to cut in front of a long line of cars that had been waiting their turn.)

In honors of that stupid moron, here's my list of some of my "favorite" places in KC to see idiot drivers...

Continue reading "Moronic Drivers" »

Posted by ScooterJ at 08:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)