Day 1 Part 2: Clarksville, Tennessee

Home » Gettin' Lit, Nov 2010 Bar Road Trip, Photos, Travel

31 December 2010 2 Comments

Thursday, November 11, 2010

We reached the military town of Clarksville, TN about an hour after dark — far later than we had intended. Our first order of business was to stop by a local Zaxby’s to drop off some gifts for the owner (a friend of B’s wife), which resulted in us getting free meals of delicious chicken strips. :) Thanks, Zaxby’s!

We checked into a motel (America’s Best Value Inn, a favorite chain of ours), dropped off our luggage, then headed out to make a loop through town…

#775: O’Connor’s Irish Pub
1198 Tylertown Rd
Clarksville, TN 37040
(931) 542-2121

[map]

We picked this as our first stop into Clarksville because we found a number of reviews that led us to believe this is the worst bar in town. However, though it wasn’t our favorite and wasn’t anything great, it wasn’t particularly bad either.

That said, it did take us several minutes to get the attention of the bartender despite the fact that the places wasn’t very busy.

This is a big place, divided into two large rooms. The front room has a horseshoe shaped bar, what looked like a stage, and table seating. The back room had pool tables and additional seating.

We were heavily carded here, this would prove to be the case almost everywhere we went in Clarksville. (ID checks became more stringent as we got closer to the military base, and less stringent to almost forgotten as we got further away to bars that cater more to the locals than the military.)

There’s live music Fridays and Saturdays with a cover that’s enforced quite early compared to when the bands start. Luckily for us, it was Thursday.

There really didn’t seem to be much about this place that makes it an Irish Pub, though. Putting a shamrock on the Budweiser sign doesn’t do it, and serving Guinness isn’t even enough as many types of bars do that. I will say this though, Irish pubs should not be playing hip-hop.

#776: Tipper’s Neighborhood Pub
1471 Tiny Town Road
Clarksville, TN 37042
(931) 647-9923

[map] [web]

This little bar is attached to a gas station about halfway between I-24 and the military base.

The bar itself is U-shaped, recessed into the far back. There’s a handful of tables in front, a few pool tables top the side, and several games and flatscreen TVs scattered about. There’s a covered patio to the side that’s almost as big as the bar itself.

The place seems to be known for its food, with wings as their specialty. There are varying flavors and heat levels, as well as smoked wings.

They were setting up for either a DJ or karaoke, but we left before that got started.

#777: Rebounds Sports Bar
2241 Fort Campbell Blvd
Clarksville, TN 37042
(931) 572-9960

[map] [web]

Located directly across the street from the Fort Campbell military base, security was tighter here than at any other bar on this trip. In addition to the ID check at the door, all patrons were searched and patted down before entry.

The patrons were almost all military, at least we assume so from the haircuts. :) The bar itself is small and U-shaped. There’s pool tables in the front room, and a lounge in back. The bar was pretty crowded, so we didn’t manage to make it to that room.

I call this my Jackpot bar, since it was #777.

#778: Tipper’s Night Club
2150 Fort Campbell Blvd
Clarksville, TN 37042
(931) 920-8011

[map] [web]

We weren’t planning on coming here as night clubs aren’t our thing, but it wasn’t very busy and there wasn’t a cover so we decided to check it out.

There are several rooms. The bar is in the front, across from it was a larger room where poker night was underway. Towards the back was a game area, with Pop-a-Shot, Pac-Man, Golden Tee, darts, air hockey, and several other games. The far back corner has a lounge area with a secondary bar, sofas and coffee tables.

There’s also a big covered patio off the front of the place.

The Thursday night special was $1 domestic bottles. We always love cheap beer!

#779: Mouse Trap

2130 Fort Campbell Blvd
Clarksville, TN 37042
(931) 552-4037

[map]

As soon as we stepped in the door, we knew we had found it…

THIS IS THE BEST BAR IN CLARKSVILLE!

This is a beer bar only. It’s laid back, it’s welcoming, and it feels like home. This is the perfect place to hang out and enjoy conversation over beer with your friends.

The bar’s showpiece is a large freshwater aquarium whose inhabitants include Oscars, Jack Dempseys, Peacock Bass, a Channel Cat, and a rather goofy looking Goldfish (among others). The owner chatted with us at length about the aquarium. Feeder goldfish are dropped in every Friday, something that surely must be fun to watch while drinking. :)

B swaps fish stories with the bar’s owner

#780: Speakeasy

1991 Fort Campbell Blvd
Clarksville, TN 37042
(931) 553-8800

[map]

While Mouse Trap still keeps our award for Best Bar in Clarksville, Speakeasy takes the award for Most Memorable.

We walked in and found ourselves in the second smokiest bar I have ever experienced. (Only a VFW I visited in 2006 in Liberty, MO tops it.) I’m talking so smokey that there were actual visibility issues.

We plopped down at the U-shaped bar while the sounds of country music and an episode of “It Only Hurts When You Laugh” on TruTV filled the air. We began drinking our $1 Bud bottles and quickly notice that everyone in the bar was fixated on the TV.

We turned around in our stools to join the regulars in watching the show — a clip show of people screwing up in painful but funny ways. Everyone in the bar was heckling or laughing at the videos.

During a commercial break I got up to use the restroom. It was while I was in the men’s room that events in this bar took a turn for the wacky.

I was washing my hands when it happened. Above the sound of the running water, female voice carried across the bar and into the restroom. The voice of a woman sitting at a table behind us with three of her friends. A voice that spoke in graphic detail of how she performs oral sex and what she likes about her techniques.

I tried by hands and exited the restroom. I immediately locked eyes with B and we gave each other the same knowing look. The look that we knew we needed to sit down and listen, because something really funny was probably about to happen. And it didn’t take long for us to be proven right.

“I love it when guys c– in my a–!” the same woman joyfully proclaimed a few moments later. “It’s just so warm and creamy on the inside. And then later, when I’m taking a sh–, I feel like I’m a chocolate eclair!”

It took everything we could muster to maintain our composure and not erupt in laughter.

Mystery woman, we have no idea who you are, but we thank you for making Speakeasy our funniest stop of the trip. :)

#781: Smokey’s Bar & Grill

1310 Fort Campbell Blvd
Clarksville, TN 37042
(931) 552-3800

[map]

We just so happened to walk in on karaoke night, so we watched three girls performing “The Time Warp” back in the recessed stage area before we found some seats at the bar.

It was moderately busy, but most of the people were either in the table seating area to our left or shooting pool in the back. However we were soon joined by an older man, who pulled something out of his pocket and tapped my shoulder.

“You want some homemade beef jerky?” he offered, shaking the baggie of beef.

I was reminded of the shrimping at Flo’s Poke-a-Dot in Kansas City. I’m sure the beef jerky was delicious, but I get nervous about accepting meat snacks that strangers pull out of their pockets so I politely declined.

#782: Blackhorse Pub & Brewery - The Tap Room
132 Franklin Street
Clarksville, TN 37040
(931) 552-3726

[map] [web]

The Blackhorse Pub was a bar I was eager to visit, unfortunately it has closed early on this Thursday night. However its upstairs spin-off, The Tap Room, was open and very busy.

We proceeded up a very long, steep, and narrow staircase to the upper level. There was no seating available at the U-shaped bar, nor at any of the tables. After standing for a while a small table opened up towards the back that we migrated to.

It was very dark inside so I apologize for the poor picture quality.

The Tap Room is a dive bar, an upscale lounge, and a sports bar. It’s rare to see a place that pulls off all three well. (It should be noted that at $3 a bottle, these were some of the more expensive beers we had in Clarksville.)

The front half of this floor is a bar, the back half is a very mellow lounge bathed in a soft blue light.

Up another smaller set of stairs to the side is another room that had pool tables and other games. We didn’t make it into that room during our visit.

#783: Lar’s Olde Towne Tavern
116 Franklin Street
Clarksville, TN 37040
(931) 920-9509

[map] [web]

This beer-only bar downtown was an unexpected bonus find. It was very quiet, only 2 other patrons in the bar.

The bar features 2 pool tables, darts, and PGA Tour Golf. We’d end up finding this golf game in several more bars, it appears to be more popular than Golden Tee in this region.

Pool was free tonight so B decided to shoot a game or two with a guy named Mark who had been shooting alone for a while. We grabbed our mason jars of beer and headed back to the tables.

“It’s free to play, so I’ve been playing by myself for a while,” said Mark.

“Just like when you’re at home, huh?” B replied.

He didn’t get it. :)

This is one of those bars where you get to write on the walls, but I didn’t notice that until I was uploading the photos later.

Our next bar appeared to be in walking distance. And, though technically it was, it had become very cold outside. Which made for a long and miserable walk. Fortunately it was also a pretty walk…

#784: Pea Patch
535 Franklin Street
Clarksville, TN 37040
(931) 552-0153

[map] [web]

It was a cold walk of a few blocks to find our next bar of the night. The Pea Patch is a college bar with a huge covered patio. Due to the cold the patio was empty and the inside was packed. We managed to find 2 seats at the end of the bar just inside the door.

Rap music filled the air. The crowd was mostly college students, but there was a fair share of military mixed in as well.

B ended up playing competitive trivia against a couple of military guys. It started out close, but they didn’t catch on that the correct answer to the first 6 questions was ‘4′. :) B ended up clobbering them 9729 to 5399. :)

We got back in the van after another long and chilly walk, and decided to check out a placed called The Warehouse. It’s a huge building, literally an old warehouse, on a heavily-wooded hillside just north of downtown.

Unfortunately they wanted a $10 cover… each. On a Thursday night. Hell no.

So we peed in the parking lot (out of sheer necessity/desperation, not spite, as the men’s room was going to have been our first destination once inside The Warehouse) and headed away from there to find someplace else to go…

#785: Same Ol Jukebox
1360 College Street
Clarksville, TN 37040
(931) 647-9799

[map]

It took us a little while to find this place, it was further from downtown than we realized. However once we were inside we were pretty excited to find that they serve Icehouse beer, it’s one of our favorites largely due to its scarcity back home.

The Jukebox has a small front room, where we started out, and a larger back room that we migrated to later. The L-shaped bar is designed to serve both rooms. The back room has pool tables and a DJ booth.

What we call “Bags” back home but is called “Cornhole” here was set up, and we watched a group of people playing. B joined in for a little while but discovered it’s not as easy as it looks.

We strongly believed there to be other bars downtown, so we headed back that direction. Unfortunately we were unable to find any, so we headed southeast where most of the places we found were either closed or closing. But we did manage to get one more in…

#786: O’Neal’s Bar & Grill

1979 Madison Street
Clarksville, TN 37043
(931) 802-5577

[map] [web]

It took us quite a while to find another place that was still open at this point, a lot of places were closing up early on this Thursday night.

We decided to finally give the PGA Tour Golf game a try. It’s by EA Sports, and has a lot in common with the Tiger Woods Golf games. It probably seems odd to some people that we were fascinated by this game, but we just don’t see it back home.

Thank God for GPS, because we were pretty much lost at this point. The GPS took us on an almost scary route of narrow, winding, wooded roads, but she got us back to the main drag.

We looked for one final bar, a supposedly “Three’s Company“-themed bar that we suspected was long closed. We were unable to find it, so we grabbed some (very) late night Taco Bell and went back to the motel to call it a night.

Continued…