A Culinary Question

30 November 2009 8 Comments

The following question woke me up in the middle of the night last night for who-knows-what reason, and I pondered it for several minutes before drifting back to sleep:

“Why do we have cole slaw?”

I mean really, why does it exist?

Here we have a food item that quite clearly appeals to none of the five senses.

Sight: It looks slimy, and it is white to off-white with flecks of orange, green, and purple. None of these are colors that particularly stimulate the brain to provide a sensation of appetite.

Smell: The scent is downright revolting.

Taste: To say cole slaw is an acquired taste is an understatement. The flavor is so foul that it seems illogical anyone would go out of their way to learn to like it.

Touch: It’s cold, slimy, and stringy. Do I need to say more?

Hearing: Listen closely the next time you shove a spoon into a trough of slaw and then glop it onto your plate. It’s very similar to the sound effect used in movies when maggots are shown devouring a wet, rotted corpse.

Why, in the history of recipes, did anyone ever think that creating a dish that is so offensive to all five of the senses would be a good idea?

8 Comments »

Lee said:

De gustibus, my friend. All five of my senses and me loves us some coleslaw.

# 30 November 2009 at 6:56 pm

meesha.v said:

I like cole slaw,but I have to admit that so far I haven’t found any cabbage recipe that I don’t like

# 30 November 2009 at 7:01 pm

The DLC said:

All of these negative sensory qualities can be attributed to the use of mayonnaise in Cole slaw. Sub it for vinaigrette and you’re in business.

# 30 November 2009 at 7:16 pm

Bull E. Vard said:

Coleslaw was developed as part of man’s quest to make cabbage edible. Coleslaw is clearly a failure in that quest because it is disgusting.

Another intriguing question regarding coleslaw is the ratio of coleslaw eaten/coleslaw served. I would guess less than 5% of coleslaw is ever eaten.

# 30 November 2009 at 10:34 pm

Donna W said:

You must not be an American. I was born in the heartland, raised in farm country, and never saw any red-blooded, true American that didn’t like cole slaw.

# 30 November 2009 at 11:02 pm

Xavier Onassis said:

In high school biology class we disected a pigeon.

When we opened up its stomach, what we found inside looked exactly like cole slaw.

Just sayin’.

# 1 December 2009 at 8:15 am

Average Jane said:

I went most of my life avoiding cole slaw, but I worked my way up to it via other cabbage salads (kimchi, sauerkraut salad, etc.) and now I like it. It has to have a certain balance of vinegar and mayo, though. Jack’s Stack cole slaw is the standard to which all cole slaw makers should aspire.

# 1 December 2009 at 11:30 am