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November 02, 2006

3-Layer Dreamcake

Last night I had a dream in which all the guys at work under 25 formed a little clique and snubbed the rest of us. They were being obnoxious jerks -- loud, rude, and just plain annoying. (Nothing at all like they are in real life.)

I had gone to the gym over lunch like I often do. When I returned, my boss angrily called me into her office and accused me of destroying the jack-o-lantern that our office manager had spend hours carving. "She's at her desk in tears," she told me. I insisted that it was not me and told her if it was anyone in the office it was that clique of the young ones. "Their brains are still forming," I said, "They are still too young to empathize with other people and realize the actions they think are funny can actually cause very hurt feelings." My boss continued to insist that I did it, though.

I woke up and I lay there in bed relieved that it was just a dream. I then rolled over and saw my wife sitting on the edge of the bed looking at me.

"I'm leaving you," she said angrily... then threw a lamp against the wall, shattering it, before storming out the door.

"What the hell?" I thought, "I'm not married!"

Suddenly I woke up from that nightmare and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

But then I noticed that my room seemed awfully bright, so I looked at my clock. 11:30am.

"SHIT!" I screamed, "I'm way late for work!"

I bolted out of bed and ran out to the living room, where I found my friend Ken asleep on the couch. He roused as I tore into the room.

"Oh shit!" he said, "I forgot I was supposed to wake you, I'm sorry!"

I called work to tell them that I was on my way, but was told not to bother coming in, that I had been fired.

Holy shit.

My heart racing, I awoke from that nightmare to find that it was 5:50am and I still have plenty of time to get ready for work.


A dream within a dream within a dream. Jesus H. Christ, what a night!

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