Living in the Scoot Utopia

So yesterday (Saturday, June 17) I went on, surprise surprise, another walking barhopping event with my buddy Brandon.

(Sorry, I forgot my camera, so no photos this time.)

We started out at 8:30am with breakfast at the Woodswether Cafe, then dropped the car back off at my place and walked to the 5th & Grand MAX stop.

We rode the MAX to the 39th & Main stop, where we disembarked to begin our walking.   Big shock, we were accosted for money twice within the first minute off the bus at this inteersection.   This is why 39th & Main continues to be my least favorite MAX stop.   But I digress...


Stop 1 - 10:09am - Dave's Stagecoach Inn.      Smelled kinda oniony in here for some reason.

• Me:  Miller Light
• Brandon:  PBR

Stop 2 - 10:30am - Kelly's.      Awesome for having an 8:30am opening time.

• Me:  Boulevard Stout
• Brandon:  Blue Moon

With nothing else in Westport open yet, we headed back up to 39th and attempted to go to Missie B's.    It was closed.   So, we continued west on 39th.


Stop 3 - 11:00am - Jimmy's Jigger.      When we got there they were not quite open yet and the door was locked.   We decided to go elsewhere but when we were about 30 feet away I barely heard a faint click.   "Hold on," I said, and ran back to try the door again.   Open.

"FIRST!"  shouted Brandon as we walked in, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Hooray for you," said the bartender sarcastically.  "Write that accomplishment down in your diary."

I immediately started laughing as I pulled the beer diary out of my pocket and wrote that one down.

• Me:  Bud Light
• Brandon:  Bud

Stop 4 - 11:33am - DB Cooper's

• Me:  Busch
• Brandon:  Busch

Stop 5 - 11:57am - Gilhouly's.      The bartender had not arrived yet and the only person who could legally get us a beer was the owner, who was outside dealing with an A/C issue.  After a while he was able to come in and pour for us.  As he set our beers in front of us the actual bartender arrived.   

When we finished our beers Brandon went to go use the restroom.  "Need another round?" the bartender asked me.  "Naw, we have to get going," I said.    "Did you already pay him?" she asked, pointing to the owner.   "Yep, we're square," I said, honestly believing Brandon had already paid.

I then went to the restroom myself, and when I came back out, I saw Brandon at the counter paying our tab.

Whoops!

I promise, Bartender-lady, whoever you are, I was not trying to slip out without paying!

• Me:  Bud Lightt
• Brandon:  Bud Light

We headed south on Bell and along the way spotted a yard sale where one of the coolest items ever was for sale:


We probably spent a good ten minutes looking at that thing while Brandon debated the purchase as a cool conversation piece.


Stop 6 - 12:40pm - City Tavern.

• Me:  Boulevard Stout
• Brandon:  Coors

Stop 7 - 1:30pm - Mike Kelly's Westsider.     We do not know why that last leg took us 50 minutes.

• Me:  Bud Light
• Brandon:  Bud Light

Stop 8 - 1:54pm - The New Point

• Me:  PBR
• Brandon:  PBR

We then went to  Record Bar for lunch, only to be told "We're closed" when we sat down at the bar.   Stupid places that don't open until four.

Then we went on into Valentine Video to look over the movies they're selling off.   I realized that this was the first time I had ever been inside Valentine Video, making me feel partly responsible for its demise.



Stop 9 - 2:44pm - Westport Flea Market.     Had lunch here, then carried our beers around among all the booths.   Had a conversation with a guy who tried to justify why he wanted $3,200 for a 1920s elecric fan.

• Me:  Bully! Porter
• Brandon:  Pilsner Urquell

Stop 10 - 3:12pm - Buzzard Beach.

• Me:  Bud Light
• Brandon:  Bud Light

Stop 11 - 3:36pm - Dark Horse Tavern.

• Me:  Miller Light
• Brandon:  Miller Light

Stop 12 - 3:57pm - Harpo's.     

• Me:  Labatt Blue
• Brandon:  Busch Light

Stop 13 - 4:23pm - Blayney's Upstairs.

• Me:  Michelob Ultra
• Brandon:  Michelob Ultra

Stop 14 - 5:23pm - The Levee.     

• Me:  Miller Light
• Brandon:  Coors Light

Stop 15 - 6:04pm - Harling's Upstairs.     The effects of alcohol began to manifest themselves when I tripped and fell while entering the men's room. 

• Me:  Woodpecker Cider
• Brandon:  Woodpecker Cider

Needing some salt by this point, we went to the c-store just north of 39th & Main to buy some beef jerky.   While in the store we got hit up for cash again.    I really cannot stand the degenerates that seem to thrive around this intersection.   After we paid, Brandon snapped at the cashier for allowing panhandlers to harass customers in the store while he himself was safe behind glass.



Stop 16 - 6:44pm - Sidekicks Saloon.     My gay bar virginity has now been taken.   The bartender kept calling us "honey".

• Me:  Amber Bock
• Brandon:  Bud

Stop 17 - 7:15pm - Buddies.     This ended up being one of the most fun places we went to.   It was laid back, relaxed, and friendly.   Brandon played pool with a lesbian with a mullet.   While he was waiting for his next turn a guy came over and flirted with him briefly.   "I'm winning," Brandon told me, refering not to the pool game but to getting hit on.     But later I got checked out, blatantly and repeatedly, by a guy who was chatting with me while I was using the restroom.   After we left and I told Brandon this, I was declared the winner.  ;)

• Me:  Icehouse - times 3
• Brandon:  Icehouse - times 3

Stop 18 - 8:28pm - The Lava Room.   Relaxed on the sofa while Brandon began to go bye-bye.  His limit had beeen found.

• Me:  PBR
• Brandon:  PBR

Stop 19 - 8:41pm - Chez Charlie's.

• Me:  Miller Light
• Brandon:  Gin & Tonic

We decided we needed some food and some recouperation time so we went to Chubby's and sat for a little while eating.

Our original plan had been to continue north and hit various bars in the Crossroads and the Loop.   But after 19 bars and 21 beers our spirits were now broken, so we walked to the Armour & Main MAX stop and caught the MAX back to 3rd & Grand.    We very nearly fell asleep and the driver had to remind us to get off the bus.

But once we were back on the sidewalk, Brandon got his second wind.


Stop 20 - 10:55pm - The Caddy Shack.     This was the busiest bar we visted all day other than Buddie's.   It was Karaoke night and Brandon broke the ice with an amazing drunken rendition of "You Never Even Called Me By My Name".    I followed up with "Elvira".   After a few other singers he went back up to do "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" and I followed shortly thereafter with a pretty lousy "Sweet Child o' Mine".

• Me:  Miller Genuine Draft - times 3
• Brandon:  Miller Genuine Draft - times 3

Stop 21 - 12:19am - Winslow's.     The band had just finished and from what people were saying it was someone really good.   But we missed it.

• Me: Guinness
• Brandon:  Guinness

We debated trying to go to 4 more bars but as soon as we started walking we knew that was not going to be possible.   We slowly staggered back to my place where I managed to get Brandon onto the couch just moments before passing out myself.


Total haul: 21 bars, 25 beers each.

Great times, great times!    But after that monster haul plus a 15-bar barhopping trip I went on last weekend, I'm done for a while now.   :)