Can I bum a calzone?
I almost never get bothered by panhandlers anymore. I don't know if it's because my size makes me intimidating or what, but I walk everywhere all over the Downtown area at all hours of the day and night and only about once every 4 months do any of the homeless ever try to stop me.
Last night I didn't leave work until 8:00. Before I left I called Minskys and ordered a calzone. They said it would be ready at 8:30, so I took a circuitous route and arrived at Minsky's right on time. But my calzone wasn't ready. It wasn't ready for another 20 minutes.
I stepped out the door with calzone in hand and went around the side of the City Market, heading north towards 3rd. I had made it about to the back side of Discounts Unlimited when I got stopped by a panhandler with one of the most fantastic tales I'd ever heard spun by one of these guys.
According to him, he had walked all the way here from Lubbock, Texas. But along the way, he'd been kidnapped by the Ringling Brothers Circus. They stole all of his money and took his ID away. Then, to add injury to insult, they chopped off all of his toes.
To clarify his plight, he said that the shelters won't take him without an ID. Then he trailed off.
I asked him what exactly he needed and I noticed his eyes drifting continously to my calzone. He said he was looking for "a warm blanket and some..." and then he started smacking his lips and trailed off again.
"I don't carry cash," I said, "so sorry, I can't help." I began walking away. As I did he looked longingly at my calzone.
I didn't make it 20 feet before another homeless guy, this one carrying a cardboard sign tucked under his arm, stopped me. "Don't worry," he said, "I'm not going to give you any story. I'm just really hungry. Can you share whatever you have there?"
Now, since my calzone was cut in two, I thought briefly aboutt giving half to each guy and going back to buy myself a new one.
But, I'd waited fifty minutes for the damn thing, so I told them I was just a delivery guy and it wasn't mine to share.
Comments
Awesome! I got the same story, but it was only one of his toes, not all of them.
I think the holiday market thingy has scared off the usual suspsects... for now.
Posted by: staubio | December 7, 2005 10:15 AM